Divorce is a misery, and so too is The Roses. This second cinematic version of Warren Adler’s 1981 novel The War of the Roses, like its 1989 predecessor starring Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, fails to find anything funny about a couple whose union devolves into all-out war.

To hear movies tell it, divorce is one of the worst things that has ever happened in the history of the universe. Two people enter into a legally binding contract, sometimes getting religion involved,